Transitioning.

Greetings to the two people who read these blog posts! You’ll both be happy to know that I’m alive and well, though my social media has been quiet for nearly a month now. Sometimes you’ve got to take a break and reorient, which is exactly what’s happening.

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas, as I certainly kind of did. It was really bittersweet. We lost our sweet rescue, Azula, and I find myself missing her constantly. She was the best dog we never asked for and I am so happy to have been able to call her a dear friend. My daughter, Zenova, has not been handling her grief well. She hasn’t slept a wink in solitude in two weeks…which means, dear reader, that I haven’t slept well in two weeks- though that’s unsurprising and completely normal for me. ALAS, one of my least favorite ways to wake up is with my child screaming bloody murder and it has absolutely happened more than once these past couple of weeks. I find that my energy levels are exceptionally low and my patience has been worn quite thin. Again, unsurprising.

However, I have used this time off to really think deep about how I’m going to be taking the next few steps because I have really high ambitions for this year. SO, here’s the plan:
1. Four jewelry releases this year. Limited markets, if any. Limited customs, if any.
2. Jewelry repairs, cleanings, and customs in January and February while I get my ducks in a row forrrrr….
3. Fine art, y’all, it’s happening. I will be making my debut as a fine artist and creating massive copper and silver paintings this year, while also planning to finish up the sculptures that I started last year (two umbrellas). I’ve got the foundation of a game plan set and I’m going to start building atop it in the coming months. I’m limiting markets because I don’t know what my schedule will look like and I want to keep myself available to necessary obligations which could include traveling to some art shows.
4. Try to keep my shit together. As you can see, I’ve revamped most of my website and it’s looking a little classier and organized…I’m hoping this continues to spread throughout my home because it’s a fucking disaster in here right now.
5. I’ve also got a little book I’m working on. Maybe I’ll finish it one day, but it probably won’t be anytime soon. But it’s started, at least.

Anyway, that’s the update. I’m still here and still trudging along, just a little quieter than usual. I’m always really superstitious about new years and try not to make too many waves before or after the holiday. It is a time of reflection and introspection.



ALSO, the first release will be just before Valentine’s day. I’ll be making lockets, primarily, along with some other production pieces. I also got some enamels to play around with. So yeah…keep an eye on social media to see what I’m making. Also, I don’t know if you can comment on this post, but if you can, tell me what your new years resolutions are and how you celebrate the holiday. <3

More than a year later…

When I started this journey over a year ago, I was hoping that I’d be making more blog posts as a way to write to you, to my future self, and to the borderless cosmos about the new, wonderful adventure that I’ve embarked upon. WELL, turns out this adventure is quite a large commitment and hasn’t allowed enough room to sit down and consistently post about the goings-on in my little corner of the world.

As per usual, I’ve managed to completely transform and reemerge as a new creature at least twice over. Shedding my skin has been a monthly occurrence and I find that I’m only now settling into who it is that I’m quite sure of being, if you know what I mean. It’s not confidence I feel, nor is it courage; it’s not nihilism, nor is it zeal; to be honest, I’m not exactly sure what it is that I’m so sure of, but I can tell you in all earnestness and honesty that I am, indeed, quite sure of it. I guess the best way to describe it is as this really lovely breath of respite that hangs between my run-on sentences. I feel it continually growing as I become less concerned with what I’m saying and more concerned with what I’m doing.

So I’m going to listen to the little voice whispering “This is not your path” when I feel jealousy swelling inside my chest. I’m going to follow that lovely moment of respite between run-on sentences that moves my hands with tranquil grace. And every new idea that keeps me up at night is going to be fabricated by these hands, no matter how completely ludicrous it may seem. Because right now, that is what’s happening.

I’m making another umbrella. And it is fucking glorious. And no one really understands why I’ve got this thing for umbrellas, but I do. I guess it’s because they act as a barrier between the world, it’s tumult, and myself. Each umbrella in my life has represented how I interact with the world- what I allow the world to see about me.

‘Distortion’ was a piece I created 7 years ago out of 300 pairs of reading glasses. It was lovely and rudimental and most people wrote it off as a ‘pretty, giant disco ball’ and nothing more. However, to me, it represented the distortion I feel both when I am looking outward into the world, and when the world is looking inwards unto me. It seems only too appropriate that most people refer to its beauty before its innovative message.

After creating that piece, I was able to let go of some of the distortion that had commandeered much of my life. Little by little I outgrew my umbrella and I didn’t even notice the change until a couple weeks ago. I suppose God was telling me that it’s going to soon rain for 40 days and 40 nights…so I must build an umbrella, yeah?

Kidding, of course. However, that’s not to say the power of this push was nothing short of deific. I couldn’t sleep until I gave up and said that I would build the damn thing…and build it, I will.

So far I’ve made two prototypes and have finally settled on a third final-draft design that’s going to blow you away, dear reader. Unlike ‘Distortion’, this piece will be completely hand-fabricated from scratch, including the entire frame. I don’t really want to give anything else away so I’ll impart this final message to you, to me, to the cosmos: Listen for the moments of respite between your run-on sentences; they may be trying to tell you that it’s going to rain and you’re going to need a completely impractical umbrella for absolutely no good fucking reason.

The next step…

What a whirlwind of a week it has been. It’s hard to believe that I was in California 48 hours ago. Even though nothing has changed in the physical realm, I feel like a completely different human than the ghost I was a week ago. I’m so exhausted and malnourished, but I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of my capabilities.

Hopefully within the year I’ll be transitioning into jewelry full-time and will be able to come up with some more designs. For now, I have only posted a handful of my most successful pieces in the shop and we’ll just see how it goes from there.

Because right now I have a two other jobs and a toddler. So I’m a little pressed for time.

In the beginning…

Born and raised in the swamps of North Carolina, I was child that never quite fit in. Always curious and enthusiastic, I enjoyed a multitude of hobbies: dancing; crafting and creating; SCUBA diving; hula hooping and fire spinning; poetry and music; anything to push the boundaries of an ordinary existence. I was also gifted scholastically and, after 13 years of rigorous small-town public schooling (this being stated in jest), I decided to pursue a degree in environmental engineering at North Carolina State University. 

The title sounded so enticing. It was a career path that I felt I could endure for the sake of a salary and retirement. However, it only took me a semester and a half to figure out that I couldn't continue. I couldn't accept that I was only as interesting as a flashy title and feigned financial stability. So I left.

Things took a dark turn after that. I made many poor decisions and worried my family to pieces. I wrote a book of poetry and taught myself guitar and thought that maybe I would be the next angsty teen pop star or, even better, the second coming of Poe. I danced and hula hooped and thought that maybe I would one day choreograph music videos. I went on a sailing trip from Hampton, VA to Freeport in the Bahamas and thought that maybe I would just end up living off the grid in solidarity for the rest of my life. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I resigned myself to withering away slowly because I figured I wouldn't find a place in this world.

So I gave up and enrolled in community college. One of the classes I was required to take for an Associate's degree was 3-D design and it changed my life. The last assigned project we had to create was a wearable piece of artwork. Being the horrendous procrastinator I am, I did not brainstorm any ideas for the project and ended up blurting out the first thing that popped in my head when asked what I had decided to make. "An eyeglass umbrella!" I shouted, immediately recoiling after my teacher said that it was a brilliant idea. 

I spent seven months drilling and connecting 300 pairs of eyeglasses with steel wire...and I was actually thrilled to be alive. It felt like the final piece of the puzzle had joined the entire picture together. And from there, I knew where I was going.

I enrolled in the jewelry program as swiftly as possible and immediately began my journey proving to myself, the universe, and whatever powers that be that this was what I wanted. The day before my first class, I chopped the tips of my fingertips off with a hatchet. This was my first trial. But I was too excited to turn away and I powered through my first project with great ecstasy and pain. A motif that has followed me around for years.

In my spare time, and in our spare bedroom, I was trying to assimilate a functioning jewelry studio so that I would be able to create art at all hours of the day. I was so close to the finish line when I found out I was pregnant. 

For almost two years, I put jewelry on the back burner. I didn't want to expose my child to hazardous chemicals and materials before she had even made her debut in this world. So I focused on turning our exceptionally non-child-friendly house into a safe environment. 

The sweet light of my life came into existence on January 31st, 2018. Born on the super-blue-blood moon eclipse, my beautiful daughter, Zenova, named after a ghost ship, changed everything I thought I knew about anything. She became my magnetic north and the point that I orient my life around. 

So over the past few months, around Christmas, I wanted to bring in some extra income so that we could have a big time with lots of toys and presents because she had been so good and I, personally, love toys and playing with my offspring. So I went into the studio for the first time in awhile and got to work. 

I wanted to create something that was different than what everyone else is making. I wanted to push the limit of what we consider to be fashionable. I wanted to instill a sense of confidence without requiring physical reassurance. It needed to be affordable; it needed to be edgy; it needed to be comfortable; and it needed to be accessible to everyone. So I decided to create my pieces with copper and focus on a higher level of craftsmanship.

Somewhere along the way, I made the greatest mistake of my life. I discovered a technique that would be imperative to my production process and exploited it to the best of my ability. I figured out how to manipulate metal to bring out heat patinas like I'd never seen before...and my work took off. 

Erryn Moreno of GBK Productions saw my work on Instagram and sent me a message asking if I had ever considered doing a gifting lounge. I told her honestly that I had no idea what they were. She gave me a brief description and asked if I could be Los Angeles in three weeks for the Pre-Oscars event. I told her I'd have to check my schedule...just kidding...I told her I'd do my best to be there under any circumstance.

I had no inventory. I had no money. I had never been to a big city like that. I had never seen the west coast. I had never met a celebrity. And I wouldn't even know if I had, because I don't watch a lot of television or movies. It all seemed too surreal to be true and I asked her multiple times if she was scamming me. She assured me she wasn't and I turned over every stone to make sure she wasn't lying. My investigations left me empty-handed so I concluded that this must be real and took the bait.

If this went well, it could mean that one day my partner, Wyatt, and I could afford a home with central heating and A/C and a roof that doesn't leak. Zenova could go to whatever school she wants and wouldn't have to rely on scholarships and a forced education. We would be able to take the next step toward our dream, if this goes well...IF this goes well. I remember thinking those words repeatedly for three weeks.

I had 10-12 days to create at least 92 pieces of jewelry without any designs other than my butterfly earrings. Not to mention, I had to create a website, business cards, and all of the appurtenances associated with a stable business. Furthermore, I had to figure out how I was going to assemble some kind of display for the event. I took a leap of faith and figured I would buy some antique furniture in LA, rent a truck to transport it, and then try to find someone who would take it after the event. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to pull this off. 

The first day I bought a Metro pass and figured out the public transportation system. I went over to La Brea Avenue, walked up and down that street at least ten times, and ended up buying a couple of moderately cheap pieces of furniture at Habitat for Humanity. The next day, I retrieved my rental truck in Marina del Rey and managed to drive that beast of a machine across town to pick up my stuff. The following day, I showed up at the Kimpton la Peer hotel in my daisy dukes and pick up truck to haul my second-hand furniture up to the rooftop, just hoping that the image in my head would prove passable in the presence of fame and fortune...because I did not have a back up plan. 

I was definitely the underdog in more ways than one. I was running on faith and fumes. I had everything invested in this moment...every spare second, every spare cent, everything I have added up to this one shot. I bet all my chips. And things could not have gone better.

Every person I met was so kind and receptive. They genuinely enjoyed my work and could feel the love that I pour into each and every piece. I bought 100 little containers to pack my stuff in and only ended up using 15 or 20 because everyone just kept it on. It was amazing, but now I don't know what to do with the remaining 80 containers. But I guess there are worse problems to have.