The Inferno

Some artists create intentionally, deliberately, meticulously- but I have never. My creativity comes from a place of wildfire and passion- it is raw, it is animalistic, and it is raging.

 
 
 
 




As I look back on my life, I find the need to create woven throughout my story. It started with my very first watercolor set at four years old, then little clay sculptures, dance, photography, poetry and prose, sculpture, then jewelry. Now I’ve found a way to use all of these pillars to precariously lay atop my passions, like a sacrificial lamb atop a bed of nails. Each skill, each statement, has led me to the moment of reckoning.
I’ve let go of most of my dreams. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a painter. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a music video choreographer. Once upon a time, I was on my way to becoming an environmental engineer with a concentration in sustainable technologies. Each tiny flame was violently stomped out before it could really ignite. Every year that passes, I’ve been waiting- waiting for that little click where the cogs snap into place; waiting for the quiet clarity that comes with knowing; waiting for the right time to pounce. 
And I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited some more.
 

But this past year, 2021, something changed in the shadows. Somewhere, dancing on the outskirts of the blazing inferno within me, I heard a little click- no louder than the heartbeat of a hummingbird- when I realized the potential of combining my skills. 

For me, it’s always been less of a ‘why’ and more of a ‘when’. Art has become so deeply entrenched that it’s impossible to imagine ripping that artery out of my life. Deep down, at the root, it was a coping mechanism for the trauma and rage I’ve dealt with through the years. But everyone’s got problems…especially big, bad problems that come out at night. Those feelings are a part of it too, a part of our chemical compositions.


But I don’t make art because I’m sad and angry; I make art despite it. I walk to my workbench with pure love and passion- unfettered, unadulterated, uncompromising love and passion. My work isn’t about me. It ascends beyond my understanding, created in a place beyond my perception- a place where the roars of wildfires send me into a tranquil state and art erupts from my fingertips.